Part 3, Quest for the Z-Box, Battle of the Beastly Lawn, Conclusion

Jake plunked the battered old hard hat he had scavenged onto his head. Jay tied a bandana around his face, then pulled on a pair of worn gardening gloves. And Josh, still shaken and scared, fitted a pair of safety goggles over his wide eyes.

The brothers finished rummaging through the pile of equipment they had pilfered from their mother's shed, a veritable cornucopia of lethal lawn care. With old bits of nylon rope, they strapped on their newest armaments and stepped forth to do battle.

“Ok,” Jay said in his best pre-pubescent gravely voice. “Let's go.”

Jay, Jake, and Josh sauntered out of their backyard. They spread out and slowly crossed the street. The air was charged and tense; neighbors shuttered their windows in anticipation, and a tumbleweed blew across the road before the boys.

They came to a stop at the edge of old Mrs. Jenkins' lawn. Jay’s fingers waggled at the handle of the shears strapped to his waist.

“Remember the plan, boys.” He said, never taking his eyes off the towering grass.

Jake nodded, then shot an expectant look at Josh. The youngest brother was quaking head to foot now. But he knew his duty. He gulped, then sidled up to the edge of the lawn and picked up the rake he had abandoned during their last venture.

With a nervous glance back at his siblings, Josh sucked in a deep breath, then sprinted along the lawn, swiping his rake at the growth and screaming;

“Tiny brothers taste the best! So much sweeter than all the rest! Come and  get me, stupid pest!”

Back and forth he ran, smacking the lawn with his rake and reciting the line Jay forced him to memorize.

While Josh worked, Jake recovered the lawnmower that had been left in the driveway. He and Jay kept their distance from the lawn's border, bouncing on the balls of their feet, waiting.

“C’mon, come on!” Jake groaned impatiently.

Several minutes of Josh’s taunting went by. Then, they saw it. A rustling in the grass that had nothing to do with the wind.

“It’s coming!” Jay shouted.

Jake pulled the lawnmower's cord, revving the engine to life. Josh noticed. His eyes bulged, and his chanting turned frantic.

“TINYBROTHERSTASTETHEBEST!!!” He squealed as he ran.

THWAP! Once more, green vine-like tentacles shot out of the lawn, questing for the youngest brother.

“AAAAAAAH!!!!” Josh screamed.

“NOW!” Jay yelled.

Jake howled and ran for the spot in the lawn where the tentacles had come from. He pushed into the grass with Jay in tow. They plunged into the heart of the monster's lair while the beast was preoccupied with Josh.

Huffing and puffing, Jake blazed a trail through the growth while Josh screamed incoherently in the background. The first part of Jay's plan had gone perfectly. Next, they needed the rest of their tools. Jay needed the weed whacker he’d dropped somewhere in the thicket.

The beastly lawn bellowed under the boys' assault. Jake’s mower cut a swath through it with surprising ease. Which didn’t last long.

The lawn recovered from its initial confusion and honed in on the two intruders while still pursuing Josh at its border.

Tall shoots of greenery swiped at Jake, jostling him and the mower. The boys were pushed and bumped side to side! Jay tried to shield himself as he searched. “Keep going!” He shouted.

Outside the grass, Josh yelped. He had been caught! His brothers looked up and saw their youngest sibling being tossed about in the air above by his ankles.

“Hurrrrrryyyyy!!!” he yelled as he swung overhead.

While the battle raged outside the house, within, Mrs. Jenkins sat sipping tea. Her back was to the living room window while she chatted with her old friend, Marge, over the phone.  

“Oh yes,” she relayed to Marge, “I was so fortunate those boys came along.  That lawn was getting a bit unruly.”

There was a wet smacking sound as the grassy tentacles slapped Josh against the living room window. His cheeks smashed flat against the glass, and his eyes crossed. He grabbed frantically for a handhold, but found none. Slowly, the beastly lawn pulled the boy across the window pane, dragging him back into the fray.

Mrs. Jenkins sipped her tea and frowned when she heard the noise. She turned to inspect the window, but by then Josh was already gone. With a shrug, she returned to her phone call.

“WE’LL NEVER MAKE IT!” Jake yelled as the lawn pushed back against his mower, halting their progress.

“We gotta get to the center! That’s where its heart will be!” Jay screamed back.

Whump! Josh’s small body came soaring out of the sky and crashed into his siblings. The three tumbled to the ground, landing in a heap. For a moment, they lay in a daze. Head spinning, Jake untangled himself from the others and sat up. He raised his eyes and, to his horror, saw the stalks of weeds rising up, poised above them. Jake’s heart sank.

The weeds reached their apex, their tips curling in as they readied to destroy the brothers. Jake’s breath quickened, his eyes narrowed. “Not today! He shouted. Unsheathing the spade he had tucked in his makeshift belt, Jake threw it with expert precision. It landed at the base of a cluster of weeds, felling its stalks. The lawn retracted its remaining tentacles and screeched in pain.

In the chaos, Jay caught a welcome sight in the tangle of furious vegetation. It was the handle of his weed whacker! He lunged for it, freeing it like Excalibur from a stone.

Jake recovered his spade, then he and Jay lifted Josh groggily to his feet. The boys rallied. Jake grabbed the mower's push bar and ripped the cord. Jay kicked the whacker into life. Josh steadied himself and shook the debris off his rake.

The injured and angry lawn recovered as well. It parted its green curtain, revealing the writhing and furious monster's head once more. Its yellow flowered eyes furrowed, and its terrifying maw snarled.

Jake and Josh flanked their eldest brother, weapons at the ready. Jay ground his teeth and brought the weed whacker to bear. He met those beastly eyes, unflinching.

“Kick it in the grass!” He shouted.

Youthful warcries sounded, and they charged. Another mass of weedery flew toward them. Josh leaped up, catching the bundle with his rake and pinning it down. Jay whacked at the weeds Josh had caught, severing the grassy limb.

Another milkweed stalk shot up from the ground, aimed for Josh's face. With his free hand, Jay pulled his shears from the holster at his side, parried the blow, then cut the stalk down.

While the other two were engaged, Jake passed them and bowled forward with the mower, aiming for the mound that was the monster's face. Walls of grass on either side of him began to push together as if to crush Jake. Before they closed in, Jay jumped in front of his brother, spinning in a circle, cutting an opening, and giving them just enough space to close the distance. Jake rushed through the opening and collided with the head of the beastly lawn. He lifted his mower onto its rear wheels and pushed its whirling blades into the beast's face.

The monster's scream was deafening. More grass blades and overgrown weeds lashed out, scratching and smacking the boys. Jay ran forward and added the spinning string of his weed wacker to the onslaught. He and Jake pushed their tools deeper and deeper into the monster.

The beastly lawn’s mouth opened wide, gnashing its teeth. Terrified, Josh gathered his courage. He knew what must be done!

Dropping his rake, Josh reached back and pulled out the two small hand rakes he had brought as his sidearms. He crouched low and stared into the foul abyss of the monster's mouth,

“For the Z-box!” he bellowed.

In one swift motion, he leaped into the monster's mouth, hand rakes held high! Like an angry squirrel, he clawed and scraped at the monster from within as he slid down its gullet.

The sound of terrible screams, ripping greenery, and whirring motors filled the air. Then, with one final pained cry, the mound that was the beastly lawn slumped onto its side and fell still. All around them, the menacing weeds ceased their flailing, then sagged.

Jake let his motor stall, and Jay shut off the whacker, pulling away from the downed monster. They dared not believe it was over.

Then, the mound stirred again! Jake tensed and started the mower, and Jay readied his shears. But before they struck, the grassy mound fell apart. Josh poked up out of the pile, stained green and covered in fresh-cut grass. He flailed his hand rakes and shouted wildly, “Tasty brother!!!”

Jake and Jay sighed in relief and lowered their weapons. They had done it. They had slain the monster.

…

The brothers would never forget the battle of the beastly lawn. It was a pivotal moment in their lives. Once they had cleaned up the monster's grass-clipping carcass and received their payment, they discovered something amazing. The thrill of a well-earned treasure. And it was just the beginning.

Days later, the boys would be found in their shed, now organized as a base of operations. Jake tinkered with new and improved equipment made from salvaged old tools, while Josh practiced his martial skills with his rake. Jay hung up a dry-erase board. It bore a picture of the Z-box, a tracker for their financial goals, and a map of the neighborhood to plan their next conquest.

On a shelf beside the board sat a small glass jar. Jay glanced at it and smiled. It held their hopes and dreams, the collective earnings from Mrs. Jenkins. A whole three dollars.

Only one hundred and ninety-seven more to go.

The End

In loving memory of Joshua Kimbrell

1990-2012

Our childhood was an amazing  adventure, filled with laughter, tears, fisticuffs, and games. It was imperfect, but it was ours. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I’m so glad Jake and I could share it with you.

We love you, Squirrel.